Slightly Askew

 

Web Eloquence

Web Eloquence is a new site bursting with information on how to write for the web.

As part of the team of writers - and resident Wordpress techie - I’ve played a big part in getting the website up and running.

If you want to work as a writer, hire a writer, or just read some good books by great writers, Web Eloquence is the place to start [sales pitch ends].

 

Spike

Spike is a new digital agency run by good, experienced people.

They asked me to do some work for them. It could’ve gone very wrong - I nearly choked to death in their office on a sugary cola bottle - but thankfully it’s turned out well thus far: my copywriting can be found on this advert, and Spike’s website.

Spike isn’t just about making pretty digital things*. They’ve got business brains, and whatever they create makes their clients better. The copy I’ve written reflects this.

*That’s not to say they don’t look pretty - they do.

 

Blyth Valley

I created this guide to professional indemnity insurance for Blyth Valley. It positions the company as expert insurance advisers - not merely hard-selling brokers.

I wrote it, designed it, did the type, and made the file (the images are of a low quality because we needed to reduce the file size). The guide was distributed as an ebook, downloadable for free.

The second ebook was an expansion of the five benefits of professional indemnity from the first guide. Vibrant, brash, and frankly the most interesting piece of work about professional indemnity insurance I’ve encountered. What do you think?

Insurance is only as dull as the people that market it. I was determined for Blyth Valley not to be quite so easily pigeonholed. Attention was paid to the smallest things, such as re-writing our email footer. Thus the over-used and irksome “please consider the environment before printing this email” became:

Please give lumberjacks an easier life by only printing our best work.

Much better.

Our Christmas 2007 gift to customers was an online Flash game starring Santa in a helicopter throwing presents down chimneys. It was cunningly entitled Santa’s Chopper Dropper. A link to the game was sent by email, but before clicking, the reader was greeted with these festive words.

The NovaSouls

My beloved band. I hand-coded our website from scratch (no Dreamweaver, no WYSIWYG editors - just little old Notepad and a lot of time and effort).

The site is built with HTML, CSS, and PHP with MySQL. I developed a CMS with the site, enabling me to update it from any computer connected to the internet. I’m no programmer, but I think a good maitre d’ should know how to cook a steak.

All the content of the website was written by yours truly (although it’s not updated that often because we’re not as active as we once were - life gets in the way).

I write the majority of the songs too, including lyrics. You can check them all out here, but I’m particularly proud of this one:

Sometimesong

I was in the queue, waiting for a cup of tea.
You were one-infront, waiting so impatiently.
If I was one-infront, I’d let you go infront of me - if that makes any sense.

Your hair’s immaculate and mine’s a scruffy mess.
Cos it was dark this morning when I was getting dressed.
And though you’ve got no make-up on you’re very pretty nonetheless - if I may be so bold.

Maybe you won’t like me. Maybe you will.
Or maybe I’m just lonely and I’m looking for some time to kill.

Say what you’re going to say but don’t be unkind.
Cos everybody needs someone to lean on sometimes.
And I may never be beautiful in your eyes.
But everybody needs someone to lean on sometimes.

I look an idiot, cos I can’t say word.
But cos I’m arrogant, I stand there undeterred.
I mumbled something like “hello”; you barely would’ve heard. And so that’s why you walked away.

And then my brain awoke. So I ran after you.
It felt like I was in a film as I made my hot pursuit.
But this is where it all went wrong: you put your shopping in the boot and got into your boyfriend’s car.

Well it turned out that that car was your brother’s.
And just like me, you’ve no significant other.
But if I did then I’m sure I’d rather be your man.
And if this tale has a happy ending - like a baby boy or a big white wedding.
Then that time in the queue was some time worth spending with you my dear.
Through all these years we will make it (I’ll never love you for the sake of it).

Say what you’re going to say but don’t be unkind.
Cos everybody needs someone to lean on sometimes.
And I may never be beautiful in your eyes.
But everybody needs someone to lean on sometimes.

A NovaSouls recording of this song is in the pipeline. Until then, you’re welcome to download the MP3 of me strumming my way through it in a spare bedroom, somewhere in Ipswich.

In my time as NovaSouls head honcho, I’ve also produced this video for a song that we recorded (and, cough, I wrote) called Turn A Blind Eye. It uses footage of a gig we played at the Water Rats Theatre in London. Big thanks go to my Dad for lending me his video camera, Windows Movie Maker, and alcohol.

Slightly Askew

This website uses Wordpress - an open source blogging system - so I can’t lay claim to building it. Incidently, Wordpress is a great free tool that you’d be silly not to consider if you’re going to start blogging.

Looks-wise, this is my own theme - although the code’s heavily based on the Pure theme by Celestial Star. It shows that I’m not completely inept when it comes to creating visuals - although I wouldn’t consider myself a graphic designer.

The words are, of course, all mine. Likes and dislikes. Ideas and opinons. Criticisms and suggestions. Here’s a good review of a 7-inch single that I bought.

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If you like what you’ve read, how about I write something for you or your clients?  Get in touch.