Slightly Askew

A word from The Master:

Hire people who are better than you are, then leave them to get on with it. Look for people who will aim for the remarkable, who will not settle for the routine.

There are many Ogilvyisms that float around my head, but this one has – until recently – sat quietly in the back of my brain, happy to be along for the ride.

After all, it stands to reason that if I don’t own a company, I’m not responsible for hiring and firing.

Yet without sounding too much like a corporate twerp, I think we ‘hire’ people all the time.

Currently, I’m responsible for a brilliant mega-leaflet we’re doing for a client in the education sector. The concept is supermarkets: the campaign is about communicating the range, convenience and simplicity – all in a trustworthy, affordable package. Because finding a course on Beekeeping should be as simple as buying a jar of honey.

It’s a good idea. But good ideas don’t make good campaigns unless they’re executed well.

So I hired a crack team.

Designer Rob came up with the idea for the front cover and inspired the lead headline. Creative Director James oversees the whole thing because he can visualise a good idea quicker than anybody. And Production Director Simon makes sure everything gets sent to the printers and distributors.

Today we shot the front cover image. Simon was behind the lens. James and I directed the shot. Simon even drove for miles to find that bloody metal shopping basket.

If the campaign goes well, the client will give me the credit.

I’ll happily take the credit, of course. For some brilliant hiring.

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I’ve been catching up with my Campaign reading. And with Adland currently welcoming its new breed of graduates, the 25th September 2009 issue is dedicated to the great unwashed.

I wish I’d known that advertising was for me back when I was a spotty 18 year old with a trio of okayish A levels. (Looking back, it should’ve been obvious: I liked business, media, art and psychology. Honestly, where was a good Careers Adviser when I needed one?)

Alas, I didn’t go to Watford or Central Saint Martins to learn about great advertising. No, I got a job at an American diner on a retail park on the edge of Ipswich. Not a brilliant decision. But to cover up such an arse-about-face choice, I’m going to tell you that regrets are silly things to have, and instead look on the positive side of life.

Here’s two good lessons I learnt whilst surrounded by microwaved meat and cheap salsa:

Sometimes you need to make a decision. Even if it’s the wrong one.

Because you learn a lot more about things when you make a decision and start. Thinking is fine. But doing is better. So start and, if necessary, adapt. And if you can’t adapt, just learn. And apologise profusely when everything goes tits up. Which occasionally it inevitably will.

If give you give people the opportunity to say no, they probably will. So don’t give them the opportunity.

“Do you want to wash up?”
“No.”
“Do you want to dry up?”
“No.”
“Do you want to do the ironing?”
“No.”
“Do you want to take the rubbish out?”
“No.”

See? It’s really, really easy. No. No no no. Oh it might be negative. But who cares? No. No no no.

Consider this rephrase: “Would you rather wash up, dry up, do the ironing or take the rubbish out? Choose two.”

You don’t always get the perfect result. But you get a result that isn’t “no”. Which is a good start, I think.

* * *

Of course, I could’ve probably learnt these pithy lessons from a business book at university. But at university you don’t have to empty freezers after a sixteen hour shift. And you don’t have to drain the dirty fat out fryers and then scrub the things so people can eat cleaner chips.

So, graduates to Adland: your qualifications make you the chip leaders. But when it comes to motivation – the motivation to not go back to that rather miserable existence where everything comes with a side order of onion rings – I’m all in.

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Nope. I’m not dead.

I nearly died this morning though. Went spinning with the wife-to-be. If you’re not familiar with spinning, allow me put you in the picture: You get on an exercise bike in a dark room. Someone puts on bad, loud music. Someone shouts “sprint” every now and then. Lactic acid kicks in after about twenty seconds and never goes away. After half an hour, they give you your freedom back.

Suffice to say it wasn’t the most enjoyable experience I’ve ever had.

But I can see why people, my missus included, get a buzz out of it. There’s a sense of achievement when you walk out of the room. And I guess it’s that sense of achievement which is the addictive thing about exercise. (My feelings were mostly dehydration and dizziness, but that’s more to do with my pathetic fitness level.)

The addiction of achievement is something that Nike ad execs worked out a long time ago. But achievement rarely comes without difficulty. Effort, perspiration and knock-backs. Good old fashioned blood, sweat and tears. Without them, the big slice of achievement pie doesn’t taste so good.

And you can’t really cheat exercise. It’s you and you alone that has to put in the hours. But when you win, the achievement’s all yours too.

Nike manages to squeeze this notion into every ad. And in terms of concept and delivery, I don’t think it gets much better than this.

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Axa is redefining standards. Not raising them. Nor improving them. Just redefining them.

Arguably, then, Robert Mugabe is also redefining standards.

And failing schools are redefining standards.

Grotty prisons, too.

Oh well.

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Er… they’re building a Vauxhall that can read road signs. Joy of joys.

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Sometimes a change of name is a chance to show the world who you’ve always wanted to be.

And sometimes it’s just a chance to adopt a meaningless palindrome because a marketing consultant told you having a name that included a city in the UK probably wasn’t a good idea for global domination.

The tiresome pursuit of excellence strikes again.

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Imagine there are twenty-five people in a room.  You’re about to open a great new shoe shop and you want to know what size shoe most people want to buy.  You pass around a piece of a paper and everyone writes what shoe size they want to be stocked.  If you take everyone’s opinion into account and do a bit of maths, you’ll get an average shoe size.

Similarly, you can take an advert for your shoe shop into that room of twenty-five people.  You pass it around, let everyone have their input, and make changes based upon that input.  The result is exactly the same: you get an average advert.

Do you want average?

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Following yesterday’s post, Caroline - my better-qualified half - pointed out that having “more legroom on a First Choice Holiday” could be intended to build up imagery of spaciousness and relaxation on your particular holiday.

And she’s absolutely right.  It does do that.  But only when it’s been explained to me.

So although I think the strapline would work well visually:

Shot of man sitting down in aircraft.

Zooms in to show man stretching legs.

Zooms out to show man now on deserted beach on sun-lounger, being brought overly-extravagant cocktail by penguin-suited waiter.

Strapline and voiceover: “You get more legroom on a First Choice Holiday”.

Logo and website.

Commercial ends.

The text-ad alone doesn’t do that.  Well, not for me anyway.

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Copied directly from Google AdWords: 

First Choice Holidays - www.firstchoice.co.uk - More legroom on First Choice Holidays. Book online today & save.

I’m hoping they were going to use the words flights, planes, or aircraft instead of Holidays.  Alas, brand governance probably caused sense to be jettisoned.

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