Slightly Askew

A word from The Master:

Hire people who are better than you are, then leave them to get on with it. Look for people who will aim for the remarkable, who will not settle for the routine.

There are many Ogilvyisms that float around my head, but this one has – until recently – sat quietly in the back of my brain, happy to be along for the ride.

After all, it stands to reason that if I don’t own a company, I’m not responsible for hiring and firing.

Yet without sounding too much like a corporate twerp, I think we ‘hire’ people all the time.

Currently, I’m responsible for a brilliant mega-leaflet we’re doing for a client in the education sector. The concept is supermarkets: the campaign is about communicating the range, convenience and simplicity – all in a trustworthy, affordable package. Because finding a course on Beekeeping should be as simple as buying a jar of honey.

It’s a good idea. But good ideas don’t make good campaigns unless they’re executed well.

So I hired a crack team.

Designer Rob came up with the idea for the front cover and inspired the lead headline. Creative Director James oversees the whole thing because he can visualise a good idea quicker than anybody. And Production Director Simon makes sure everything gets sent to the printers and distributors.

Today we shot the front cover image. Simon was behind the lens. James and I directed the shot. Simon even drove for miles to find that bloody metal shopping basket.

If the campaign goes well, the client will give me the credit.

I’ll happily take the credit, of course. For some brilliant hiring.

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Vague is the taxi that’s always “a few minutes away”.
Vague is the crashed computer that tells you “an error occurred”.
Vague is the supermarket website that informs you “delivery may be more than the price quoted”.
Vague is the restaurant menu that “may contain nuts”.

Vague is annoying, useless and surefire way to piss your customers off.

Accurate is the automated email that tells you “I’m automated, but if you need to reply, use this address”.
Accurate is the pricing structure that explains “there is no postage discount for multiple orders because shipping is automated”.
Accurate is the restaurant that tells you “we are not a fast food joint so you will have to wait”.
Accurate is the sign that informs you “occupancy by more than 499 persons is dangerous and unlawful”.

Accurate is sometimes annoying, but often useful because it requires attention and honesty.

If you have the need to explain yourself, I think it’s best to be accurate.

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Lots of clients these days want brand engagement.

“I want people to engage with our brand!” they say, all enthusiastically. At this point, I like to smile, nod and say things that you should say in meetings. Things like “absolutely”. This shows that you are 110% engaged with their idea of brand engagement.

Brand engagement is the marketing industry’s clever term for what mere mortals call ‘quite liking a company’. I quite like Ocado because they’re part of Waitrose (which makes me feel posh), they have an iPhone app (even though I’ve never used it), they text you the name of your delivery driver, call their delivery vans silly names, and bring your shopping straight into your kitchen.

Hardly ground breaking stuff. But they do it. And that makes me like them. So I use them again.

Now, of course, I am engaged.

But engaging little old me isn’t enough; we need mass engagement. So it’s time to measure all these people who are engaged in the brand.

Why? Well, numbers make people happy. Brand managers, marketing directors, online consultants – all of them need numbers. Numbers can be dressed up into KPIs or whored out as pounds and pence. But they’re still numbers.

Numbers fit nicely into spreadsheets. You can plot graphs with numbers. Numbers make performance reviews easier. If your numbers fit, you get numbers added to your salary. No one can question your pay rise – you’ve got the numbers to prove you’re worth it.

“How many people are on your client’s email list?” I was asked a few days ago.
“Just over 3,000.” I replied.
“That’s not very many, is it.” (That sentence shouldn’t have a question mark on the end of it because it was said very much as a statement. This person wanted no further dialogue – he wanted more email addresses.)

Permission marketing isn’t a new idea. But when the industry still ignores it, it feels like it might just be a lost one.

When you next hear a marketer tell you he or she has 150,000 email addresses, don’t think of how many people might read the email, click through and buy your product. Think of how many people don’t want to receive your email. Think of all the people whose trust you’re shattering with a few dollops of HTML.

Engaging people – if that’s what you really must call it – is difficult. Disengaging people is much easier.

Sometimes it’s the numbers you don’t count that are the important ones.

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