The sounds of Latitude Festival
Just returned from Latitude Festival. Feel like utter shit, smell even worse. Not to worry. A very good, cider-sodden time was had by all.
Here’s my round up of the festival.
“This is a new song, so go for a piss.”
Thom Yorke understands that a big, early afternoon crowd would rather hear Fake Plastic Trees. Shame the miserable sod didn’t oblige.
“I think you’ll find mercury is only poisonous in its ionic form.”
Comedian Stephen K. Amos gets the most bizarre heckle of his career when discussing the use of mercury in dentistry.
“We don’t cuss on our records. My mom won’t allow it.”
Brian Fallon of The Gaslight Anthem (if Bruce recommends them, you listen to them) takes the lead in the Nice, Warm and Funny Front Man of the Festival competition.
“I’m going to take part in some food escapement.”
My good friend Jamie heads to the festival toilets for that scary first poo.
“If your parents brought you to this show, your parents are cunts.”
Phil Nichol points out that his show has been rated 15 by the Latitude authorities. And in doing so, wins the award for Greatest Opening Line Ever.
“Fuck you, Natasha Kaplinsky.”
Watching Robin Ince have a breakdown on stage wasn’t comfortable viewing. Especially if you happened to be Natasha’s mum. Memorable, though.
“Come on, you bumders!”
Because even at a frightfully middle class festival, you can’t have enough of The Inbetweeners’ toilet humour. Thanks, Brett.
“Next on stage is Chris Waters singing Born To Run.”
Drinking excessively and then ending up at a tent where the entertainment is karaoke with a live band was only ever going to end one way. Needless to say, I was brilliant. Clarkey woke up the following morning with the souvenir photo that you see above. We’ve still no idea how we ended up with it.
But the bits we do remember… well, they were bloody good. Thanks, Latitude.