Ten Bruces
10. Bruce Willis
You’re no doubt aware that Armageddon is the greatest film of all time. And that’s in no small part due to the genius of Bruce Willis; a true luminary walking amongst the fodder of Affleck. “Daddy! Daddy, no!” cries sexy Liv. I cried. I’m sure you did too.
9. Dr Bruce Banner
Depending on how old you are, The Incredible Hulk (green-coloured chap; quite angry) is a
- Comic book hero, without the incredible.
- Classic Saturday afternoon telly programme, like Highway to Heaven.
- Shit CGI film.
8. Bruce, Loose, Aboot This Hoose
I’m not even sorry. Go!
7. Alex Bruce
Ipswich Town defender of little repute.
6. Steve Bruce
Father of Alex. Me and my girlfriend were once in a lift with father and son. It was a chilly New Year’s Eve in 2006. When we reached the ground floor, son tried to exit the lift before my girlfriend. Father told him in no uncertain terms to wait for the lady. I won’t be dining out on that story for long.
5. Ken Bruce
Meh, not as good as Wogan.
4. Bruce Lee
So yeah… he makes a good statue and an ‘edgy’ student poster. But has anyone actually seen Fist of Fury? Does anyone really care? Not me. Double meh.
3. Fiona Bruce
It’s probably wrong to ogle newsreaders, but that’s the beauty of it.
2. Bruce Forsyth
Deserving of a knighthood, Brucie is the king of light entertainment. Okay, so his jokes are bad, and I hope his dancing isn’t as painful for him as it is for me, but give the fella a break – he’s 80. If I reach 80, the only funny thing about me will be the smell.
1. Bruce Springsteen
My friends laugh at me because I like The Boss.
I laugh at them because they don’t.
