Slightly Askew

Web Copywriting Tips

Saturday, June 21st, 2008

Don’t be a dullard.  I’ve probably read it before, I’ll probably read it again.  Make your stab at it interesting.  Please.

If you like looking stupid, continue to spell things the wrong way.  If you don’t, wake up and smell the apostrophe.

Linking to a site in the middle of text is good.  It offers the reader a way out of your boring copy, or provides evidence that you’re not talking utter shit.

Do not even think about using the word solution.  Ever.  You are a fucking gardener.  You do not offer gardening solutions.

Write like you talk.  Unless you speak like a fool.

Punctuation isn’t word-decoration for posh people, you thickie.

You want people to find you in Google for certain words – copywriting, for instance.  So use those words - like copywriting - every now and again.  You can even format those important words – like copywriting – in bold type to really ram the idea down Google’s throat.

But don’t use that word – you know the one I mean – that often, or Google will realise you’re a filthy, cheating, dirty spammer.  With a black hat.

Write lists with irksome headlines like Eleven copywriting tips to turn your ugly ducklings into an elegant swans!

Get your keyword into italics without anyone realising.

Use loads of paragraphs to mask your minimal output.