Slightly Askew

Mouth ulcers

Thursday, March 6th, 2008

Ah, the evil mouth ulcer.  Foe to many, friend to none.

Remember the 80s cartoon Dungeons & Dragons?  Where every episode brought new hope of a resolution; that finally those brave teenagers would be reunited with their loved ones?  So near they came, and yet so far it all transpired to be.

The magical cure for mouth ulcers appears to be similarly elusive – yet not without hope.  There’s sugar-free Rinstead pastilles (they’re like extra tough Wine Gums) and Anbesol gel.  Not to mention Bonjela, rinsing with salt water, and – my Mother’s favourite – a good night’s sleep.  I tried, they failed.

The mouth ulcer remains, and the pain of eating salt & vinegar crisps frightfully obvious.

But what’s that coming over the hills?  Is it a monster?  No, it’s a rancid tasting mouthwash, that – golly gosh – seems to work.  Yes, my fellow sufferers, we no longer need to, er… suffer.

As someone who’s been riddled by these bloody things for the last ten or so years of my life, Cordosyl comes recommended.  Sure, it feels like you’ve dipped your tongue in hydrochloric acid, but as we all know: if it hurts, it works.

If you don’t suffer from ulcers and you’re feeling smug reading this, go paper-cut your eyelids or something.  I’ll laugh at you when you’ve got migraine; take some Nurofen you pussy.